"Tuesday Night"

The post is a branch from "Where does the time go?" and although it is not necessary to read that post first, chronologically-speaking it makes me sense. It may also be kind of depressing, but I will attempt to write it in the most postive manner possible.

A couple of weeks ago Elise and I sat down at the computer and had a "Google Translator" conversation. I expressed that I was not as happy I thought I should be and maybe a change should be made. We said we would give it 3 weeks and then reassess everything. Last Thursday Jesper called me into the kitchen and gave me a letter in both Danish and English that expressed how they felt about me staying there. It ended with, "We think the best solution is that you find a new family." It was harsh and surprising, but then again, I had wished that I would change families. As the age-old saying goes, "Be careful what you wish for..", that is absoulutely true in my case.

Back to the title of the story. On Tuesday night Judith, the organizer of my AFS region, came to our house and talked with us. At first she talked with the Petersen's, while I attemped to listen (it was in Danish). I could understand what they saying, but not word-for-word. There seemed to be a lot of emotion in Elise voice, which frightened me a little. Afterwards, Judith and I went into my bedroom and we talked. She was really easy to talk to and so it was easy being completely honest. In the end, she said that a major problem was the communication. She said that Elise did not always understand me and I did not understand her, so there was a lot of misunderstandings that stuck with Elise. Moreover, we both had different expectations of what it would be like having me live here.

Now is the hard part. On Saturday Judith is putting an "ad" in the newspaper with my picture and a little bit about me. She said that they have actually been quite successful and have found some wonderful families this way. It still feels weird. It seems like I am being sold or something. I will most likely have a new host family in the coming weeks, but it all depends. The hardest part is the uncertainity. I have no idea who or where I will be and so I literally have to jump with both feet, head first with my hand tied, into a big hole and hope that there is a bottom. It is a really weird feeling. I just have to reassure myself that everything will be okay and it will all work out fine. Nothing is perfect and have to accept that and move on. It is also hard, because I know that this is equally difficult for the Petersen's. I do not want it to sound like they are the enemy. I truly care about them and the memories they have given me have been tremendous, but I think that for both of our sakes, it is better this way.

Thank you all for reading and it gives me joy to know that I am not 'speaking in the dark', if that makes sense. I know that this blog is reaching many people and is serving its purpose, which I am thrilled about. Thank you all for putting up with my depressing posts and crappy English. :)

Andy E